my words echo with irony
Que Sera, Sera.

You said something yesterday about if its gonna happen then it will happen .

It went along with the card I drew that night.

It helped me a lot. I’ve got lots of room to grow and I never want to lose myself in that process.

That takes a lot of pressure of my heart and my mind. And in turn our friendship. I feel good.
Que sera , Sera. What will be will be.
I find it ironic I sang that a few weeks ago.

Let it be!

I just want to hold your dumb hand

My heart is breaking right now


"How do you strive when you’re empty?

How do you strive when there is nothing left?

This disease without a cure, with only time can you learn that the greatest thing is to love, and be loved in return.”

How was I writing this for you ten years ago. 

there is an ache inside of me.

a longing for the past and desperation for the future.

I dont understand how i feel this way and you dont. 

I wish more than anything you would talk to me, 

But you cant lead me in either direction. to leads me on. 

So I think. If i stopped pushing, if i didnt try to restore our relationship,

would I even hear from you? 

if I walked away right now would you even bat an eye?

Do you also want this?

Or am I pushing alone?

I wish you missed me too

you looked so beautiful today 

I am so scared of this new onset of emotions lately. I don’t really know how to handle them. I feel like a child. And sometimes I don’t know how to express them correctly. 

I am so afraid of these feelings. I am so afraid of you. But I think about my life with you absent. Agh. Well that would pale in comparison to any turmoil I have suffered up to now. I love you. I love you to the depths and breadths and heights my soul can reach.  I love you more than i hate you. 

I love you more than I hate me. 

I love you so much my hate is going away. And sometimes I close up. I recoil like a leaf. But I will always open up again for the sun. Because you are my sunshine. You make me happy even when skies are grey. Even through this storm. If you can hold me through it. Colored clouds will light our path. 

I’m not a perfect person
There’s many things I wish I didn’t do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I’ve found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I’m sorry that I hurt you
It’s something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why I need you to hear

I’ve found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You